The Pressure of Becoming
I put a lot of pressure on myself to acquire a form of privilege that will allow myself and others to experience less pressure in our lives. If privilege can be built, I am to build it, not as an escape, but as a foundation for my community’s future.
In my dream world, 18 year olds should be living life like in Gossip Girl. They should be living in penthouses, care free, lavish parties, designer clothes, extreme wealth, and little adult responsibilities. Unfortunately, this is not reality. Some are able to live a life like Troy and Gabriella in high school musicals, while some can’t afford to live that life. Some are stuck learning adulthood too early, forced to trade a fantasy for survival before they ever had the opportunity to be carefree.
The truth is—pressure is the opposite of privilege. Being privileged means you are free from constant worry, free from choosing between dreams and bills, and free between enjoying youth and preparing to survive it. Sometimes it can mean that your gender and race puts you at a slight disadvantage and we have to do more to become something.
At my ripe age of 17, as a young girl, I am forced to work harder and think very carefully about decisions that I make that can potentially affect my next steps. My school–Comp Sci High–has a mission for all its students: they want their students to earn a salary of $100,000 or more by the age of 25, especially due to the cost of living society requires today. There are many people in my community, and even family, who haven’t even made $100,000 in their 30s. Seeing where my people “failed” puts the pressure on me to HAVE to do and be better—to make $100,000 by 21–before the age my school wants for us.
It is currently college application season for the graduating class of 2026, which I am a part of. Before applying to colleges, I had to do my research. I had to see which colleges would potentially give me the most money, be the best for my major, and where I feel that I would thrive and be happy. This is where the pressure begins. In October, I was taken on a trip, by my school, to visit a top university in Chicago that was on my list. When I went, I automatically did not feel or see myself there in the future, despite it being a great choice for both financial aid and what I wanted to study. I am grateful and appreciative that I was able to go on the trip and get a feel for the campus before I decided to go to the early decision route for the school. Ultimately, I decided that I wasn’t going to apply to the school because it wasn’t the right fit for me. Some adults in my school life disagreed.
One of my favorite counselors said, “I am thinking about your years after college, and not in college.” Though I still stood on my decision to not apply and feel pressured to, this was just the beginning. A comment like that, and seeing the face of the person who said it to me, especially knowing that we have a strong bond, I felt more pressure to choose another school that was still great for my potential career, give me money in scholarships, and where I feel like I would succeed the best. Pressure isn’t just in colleges though, it is also in the little things that I see and hear in my family.
A family member really close to me, my grandmother, was evicted from her home when my mom and her siblings were growing up. My grandmother was backed up on rent, due to her not having a college education, or a good job that was able to pay well enough that she could provide for her children, and pay her rent too. With the help of close relatives, my grandmother was finally able to get her apartment back.
Growing up, my mom kept me well fed, clothed really nicely, took trips, and kept a roof over our heads. Despite all of this, she was still struggling, but trying to ensure that I had the best childhood that she could provide. My mom worked long hours, and even switched jobs to be able to receive a salary that not only herself, but I can live off as well. My mom didn’t always have the money she had now, and it kept me humble, but it also showed me that if I wanted a chance to make way more money at a younger age than any of my family members, I needed to focus on my future and what I can do. These are other forms of pressure that I face alone, though they are indirect.
Compared to many students in situations like myself, there are privileged children who don’t even need to worry about the pressure of choosing the best college, the one that gives you the most money, what job they're going to get, or even people looking down on them. Instead, some can worry about what designer bag they want, where they want to go on vacation in the middle of the week, and what car they want as a gift. The things that I am working towards are seen as a given for them. They are guaranteed.
People don’t often understand that pressure and privilege are inversely related. When one goes up, the other goes down. The less privilege you have, the more pressure you face. Pressure is a force that shapes every decision you make: what schools you apply to, what careers feel “acceptable,” and how early you must think about making money instead of memories. For people like myself, pressure isn’t optional or motivational, it is inherited, rooted in the fear of falling behind, and constant, forcing me to chase stability and security long before I had the opportunity to be young. That harsh reality is what shaped the path I chose for my future.
I chose to study in the world of finance to learn not only about investing, but also about trading: making more money from the money you already have. I hope to bring my knowledge and experience back to my community, to invest and open shelters and daycares for young adults, and, especially, to help them get on their feet and have extra support. I put a lot of pressure on myself to acquire a form of privilege that will allow myself and others to experience less pressure in our lives. If privilege can be built, I am to build it, not as an escape, but as a foundation for my community’s future.