The Pandemic Pressure
“My sadness was revealed by the pandemic, but not caused by it. It made it louder; it made me confront feelings I had been holding onto for too long.”
I remember the pandemic like it was yesterday, a week of school being closed ended up being a year of struggle and remote learning. Covid was a tough time for me because right before it hit, I had just lost my younger brother. I felt lost and transitioning to a life where any chance of a social life was gone; I quickly fell into depression. As an African female coming from the Bronx, mental health wasn’t viewed as a priority at all. When I lost my brother I lost myself, I lost a part of me that I thought I would never find again.
This moment in time was a huge struggle for me, because I lost connections to my outside world. I became isolated. Coming from the Bronx and being raised in an African household, crying wasn’t an option. It simply was not allowed. Expressing my feelings was something I wasn’t allowed to do, so I kept my feelings bottled up in me for a long time. In a world where my brother wasn’t there anymore, I was completely shattered; my whole world had just fallen apart. Then, boom: Covid hit.
In a society that demands that we never stop developing, Gen z is slowly and silently collapsing. A lot of us, particularly those of us growing up in the Bronx, suffer in silence. Mental health is rarely given the priority it deserves and we are frequently disregarded until we lash out. According to 2022 data from the NYC government, the Bronx has the highest rate of depression of any borough in the city.
The pandemic's aftermath has only made the emotional scars of those of us who live in communities that were already struggling before Covid hit worse. Burnout, anxiety, sadness, and hopelessness are all too common; however, rather than being treated with sympathy, we are called “problems”. Our tantrums are criticized but the suffering that causes them is hardly ever recognized.
Covid was a time where many hopped on social media. Social media became the place where everyone connected with one another. There was even a “Quarantine trend,” where new dances such as the Renegade were formed, where the Gorilla Glue incident happened, where celebrities and influences hosted live Q&As. Covid was a time where the use of social media blew up, as people had a hard time coping with the world we lived in.
I call Covid my dark times, it was a time where isolation was normalized, when being “fat” was healthy. Where having a normal social life was restricted. When Covid hit, I went through an obesity phase, and I quickly became depressed. I was surrounded by many people during the time my brother had died but when Covid hit I was quickly isolated which gave me more time to think about him. I cried myself to sleep, I cried everyday. It was hard to see a loved one gone.
Covid wasn’t the only issue here, the topic was how we handled mental health particularly in areas like mine. The Bronx, in an African home, in settings that suppress feelings and minimize suffering. My sadness was revealed by the pandemic, but not caused by it. It made it louder; it made me confront feelings I had been holding onto for too long. Even though telling this story was hard for me, I know I’m not alone. Many of us are still trying to figure out the words to describe what we went through. How it felt to be young, mourning, and alone in a world where nobody seemed to care.
For Gen-Z, the post-pandemic transfer to high school was challenging. In addition to covid interfering with our schooling, covid took away our daily routines, social connections and peacefulness. It created an ongoing feeling of anxiety and uncertainty for many kids.when the world reopened those emotions continued, they remained till this day those memories come after us. The pandemic continues to have a significant impact on mental health. A study showed that anyone who lost someone during COVID,felt alone or was unable to handle life’s challenges. These were actual traumas that people faced,also recovery was made more difficult in places like mine where humiliation and lack of mental health resources is popular.
This issue isn’t far from us, this problem is not limited to news reports. This is an issue that’s taking place in our homes, classrooms and our families. Our community went through a huge transformation as a result of Covid and mental health issues gained more attention but was occasionally understood. A large number of people are still struggling to compare what they experienced and many are unsure of how to start the healing process. Everybody is impacted by mental health, whether it is being discussed or not. It influences the way we live, the way we think, and how we view ourselves. By being honest about our experiences we are able to make room for others to follow. These discussions can eliminate the constant stigma and demonstrate that everyone should have access to care weather it’s about mental health or overall wellbeing.