Unapologetically Black & Female
“I am black, I am an African Girl,
I am the definition of joy and happiness…”
Sitting on the 4 train, I began to shed a tear after an altercation with a white woman. The train was heavily packed, I smelled hot breath and smelly armpits, but there was nowhere to move. I stood next to a white woman and her child. She asked me to move, and I immediately told her I had nowhere to stand due to the train being full. She then began to tell me that I was scaring her daughter, and that she felt threatened.
I was honestly confused on what made her feel that way, and then I looked down and saw my skin color and nodded to myself: “It all makes sense.”
I wasn’t the one who threatened her. My skin color did; it made her uncomfortable. I was flabbergasted because nobody even tried to defend me. It proved a lot to me.The lady then pushed my hands off the pole, while gripping her daughter so tight. I could sense the fear of her words. This altercation made me uncomfortable. It showed me how people lack respect for us black women. There is no awareness when it comes to our emotions.
To be a black female is a blessing in disguise. It comes with navigating through a system of racism and gender inequality. We are seen as strong independent woman which causes us to lose protection in this society. Some days they acknowledge us for our greatness then other days they claim that “We are not worth the hype.”
Society has set us with expectations that we must be perfect, and we can not let our emotions get us out of character. Black women have been seen as foundations for their communities and are often honored for their resilience and determination. But often, that “honor” is also used against them. We are not given help when we are in need because the world believes we can handle anything. “The strong black woman” is a damaging stereotype that prevents them from the compassion and sympathy that everyone in this world is entitled to. We are expected to bear the burden of the world, consistently without recognition instead of being protected.
Furthermore, the value we have is shown in two ways by society. Some days our excellence is shown through activism, politics, music and sports. Many celebrities and public speakers who are also black women receive recognition for their achievements while also receiving backlash and criticism that others may not receive. The same culture that sits and gives us our praises is also the same culture that bashes us. They pick and choose when we are “worth the hype.” We are forced by this inequality to continuously prove our value in workplaces, on social media, and in our everyday lives. Perfection is another expectation that is placed on black women. Since we don’t display weakness, they expect us to give our best effort in every aspect of life. When we express our emotion towards society we are then called “angry” rather than showing us concern. When we demand respect from this same society they tend to call us “difficult”. Due to the emotional pressure these double standards create, we are forced to hide our actual emotions to please others.
We should not have to live up to these standards. We should be allowed to be free, to feel, to be vulnerable, and to communicate. Our emotional health should not be sacrificed for strength. We should be valued by society for our humanity as well as our drive to succeed. Ultimately being a black woman is a blessing, but it should not be tied to the ongoing desire to prove ourselves. Like everyone else, black women should be loved and protected, we shouldn’t have to struggle to be heard, respected, or to be recognized.
And so, here is my voice:
I am black, I am an African Girl,
I am the definition of joy and happiness,
I am the first daughter of my mother and father,
I am a work in progress,
I am a seeker of knowledge and light,
I am a dreamer with ambitions
I am beautiful,
I am resilient,
I am strong
My brown eyes,
My curly hair,
My skin color is who I am,
My deen determines who I am,
I wrap my beauty in a hijab, when I go to the mosque,
I am African and proud,
My skin-tone is beautiful, it won't be denied, and it won't be contained,
"African booty Scratcher" words that shattered my heart,
Tears dripping down as i walk home,
All the tears,
All the joy,
All the achievements,
That's what makes me who I am.